Skip to main content

Saturday 6 September 2025 - AI Slop

Welcome back.  I did say I would see you in September, I just forgot to say which year.



It’s been so long in fact, I no longer have to rip off actual people for my illustrations.  If I want to open the blog with a picture of a racehorse balancing a football on its nose, I just ask ChatGPT and hey presto!  We are living in the future, people.  On the downside, it’s not a great time to be an artist trying to earn a humble crust, but that’s a small price to pay for a racehorse balancing a football on its nose, I’m sure we’d all agree.


Last time, I ended the 2023/2024 football season £162.87 up.  I had placed 27 bets of £20, a total investment of £540.  Of these, 13 had won returning £702.87 for that profit of £162.87.  That’s an ROI of 30.16%.  Donald Trump would sell his family for that kind of return.


This time, I don’t want to beat my 2023/2024 profit, I want to smash it.  To quote Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoevsky, “To live without hope is to cease to live.”  My modus operandi will once again be accumulator betting, chiefly a “hypothetical” £20 win double on the outcome of two weekend football matches.  However, to spice things up, I may also throw in the odd “mega” accumulator - megaccumulator? - from time to time.  To quote Russian novelist Ivan Turgenev, “You never know.”


* * *


Early on Sunday afternoon I had the house to myself, a rare treat and a nice end to my summer holiday.  The phone rang.  It was my nonagenarian (google it) mother, who has taken to living out of a hospital bed in her front room following a recent health scare.  She said her stomach was off and that she needed to see a doctor urgently.  I thought she was exaggerating - she probably needed the toilet - and I told her so.  Click!  Five minutes later, I received a call informing me that she had activated her personal alarm and an ambulance had been dispatched.  I got home from the hospital at 9.30 pm, my day of relaxation irrevocably lost.  To cut a very frustrating story short, she had needed the toilet.


Thanks to the ambulance, MRI scan and other sundry procedures, that must have been the country's most expensive poo on the day.


* * *


After playing three games, the Premier League takes a well-earned break this weekend as the latest round of World Cup qualifying decimates the domestic fixture list.  However, the lower leagues plough on regardless, and my first acca of the 2025/2026 season appears to be a double-your-money no-brainer.  Hopefully.


Huddersfield Town (1/2) are currently sixth in League One and will be smarting after a 3-1 away defeat to local (and promotion) rivals Barnsley.  Huddersfield were down to ten men for over half that game and have since battered Newcastle’s Under 21 side 6-2 in the EFL Trophy.  On Saturday, the Terriers welcome Peterborough United to the Accu Stadium, who are bottom of the league with only one point to their name from six games.  I do not envisage the Posh turning this around any time soon.


Rochdale (2/5) are second in the National League and on Saturday the teams immediately above and below them (Forest Green Rovers and Hartlepool Town) meet in a classic “six-pointer.”  The Dale will no doubt be hoping their rivals cancel each other out, allowing them to prosper at the expense of sixteenth-placed Braintree Town who have only won one of their last six games (a 1-0 home win to strugglers Yeovil Town).


Both games kick off at the traditional time of 3 pm and my “hypothetical” £20 win double currently returns £42 at combined odds of 1.1/1 with Sky Bet for a profit of £22 after deduction of stake. You never know.

I hope to see you next week.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Saturday 13 September 2025 - Off The Wall

At times this week, it has felt like I’ve been carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.  In desperation, I reached out on my socials for a bit of love and the late American singer, songwriter and dancer Michael Jackson got in touch.  He suggested that I should straighten up my act and boogie down.  I was in Tesco the next time things began to get on top of me, halfway through the weekly shop, but people just thought I was mental when I pushed my trolley to one side and started doing the Moonwalk down the biscuit aisle.  With advice like that, no wonder they called him Wacko Jacko.  It makes me wonder what other crazy stuff he got up to. Before I turn to matters of financial speculation, for this week’s AI slop I asked ChatGPT to give the moonwalking man a Notts County shirt and it found an unintentionally funny way of doing this, presumably for reasons of copyright.  In addition to being "The Oldest (professional) Team" in the world, last Saturday’...

Saturday 20 September 2025 - More AI Slop

As part of the day job, I had to scan a photo that included Nottingham Castle into ChatGPT.  Don't ask.  If you are familiar with Nottingham Castle, you will agree it looks nothing like a castle.  It's almost a case for Trading Standards.  There was a proper castle on the site, with turrets and everything, but this was razed to the ground in 1651.  The current building is a Stuart Restoration-era ducal mansion which has been disappointing visitors to the city since 1679.  However, ChatGPT knows what a castle looks like, and, without prompting, did this to the photo. Amusing as this was, I just wanted the original photo, so I asked ChatGPT not to alter it in any way. I asked ChatGPT why it was doing this.  "I am genuinely mortified," was the touching response.  You know the world is screwed when you want to put your arm around an AI and tell it everything's going to be okay. *** On Tuesday, an e-mail informed me that a work colleague had died....

Saturday 27 September 2025 - Tomorrow's World

In last week's blog I made two mistakes.  The first was saying that the Barnsley game kicked off at 3 pm.  The second was thinking that Barnsley would actually win the Barnsley game.  The Tykes’ trip to Blackpool was a lunchtime kick off and, unaware of this, I checked Sky Bet at 3.15 pm to see how they were winning by, only to discover my betting fate had already been sealed. The game was effectively a repeat of the West Brom dabacle from the weekend before, with Barnsley monopolising the game to no avail and Blackpool sneaking a goal late on.  My other selection Gillingham won like the good team they are.  It’s early days. The last two losing weekends could just be down to variance, but going forward it may pay to avoid betting on top versus bottom clashes where the bottom side is playing at home.  Terrible teams seldom become great teams over the course of a season, but they do get better at defending and are more likely to park the bus in the hope of ...