As part of the day job, I had to scan a photo that included Nottingham Castle into ChatGPT. Don't ask. If you are familiar with Nottingham Castle, you will agree it looks nothing like a castle. It's almost a case for Trading Standards. There was a proper castle on the site, with turrets and everything, but this was razed to the ground in 1651. The current building is a Stuart Restoration-era ducal mansion which has been disappointing visitors to the city since 1679. However, ChatGPT knows what a castle looks like, and, without prompting, did this to the photo.
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Amusing as this was, I just wanted the original photo, so I asked ChatGPT not to alter it in any way.
I asked ChatGPT why it was doing this. "I am genuinely mortified," was the touching response. You know the world is screwed when you want to put your arm around an AI and tell it everything's going to be okay.
On Tuesday, an e-mail informed me that a work colleague had died. I work in the Midlands; this person was based in the North and, had I not been in a Teams meeting with them about a year ago, they would have remained another name that I never got the chance to put a face to. In the meeting, the colleague was about my age, appeared healthy, and was likely entertaining thoughts of their retirement like I increasingly entertain thoughts of mine. Sadly, their hopes for the future are now dreams of the past and it was a terrible reminder that I should really be caring less about the housekeeping and living each day as if it were my last. I won’t of course. R.I.P.
***
Last week I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. This week I have felt blue. A kind of blue. Fortunately, I bumped into the late American trumpeter, bandleader and composer Miles Davis who was rummaging through the CDs in Barnardo’s. He told me to depart from chordal sequences and adopt a more open approach. I informed him that it was 2025, not 1968 daddy-o, but he laughed in my face and told me that he wasn’t going to take music criticism from the sucker who had tipped West Bromwich Albion over Rochdale last weekend. The Baggies had 68% possession and eighteen shots on goal; sadly only four of them were on target and didn’t trouble the keeper. Their opponents, Derby, had one shot on goal and scored. That’s how the acca cookie crumbles. My other selection, Swindon Town, won 3-1 and Rochdale, the team I had eschewed because of their 690 mile round trip to Truro, won 0-1. At least in an alternative universe I am £60.33 in profit, rather than merely £2 up in this one.
The first leg of this weekend’s “hypothetical” £20 win double is Barnsley (13/8), who travel to Blackpool in what is effectively a top(ish) versus bottom(ish) clash in League One. Barnsley look overpriced to me, as is the second leg of the double, Gillingham (evens), who make the journey to Newport County in League Two’s facsimile fixture. Both matches kick off at 3 pm and the £20 win double on Barnsley and Gillingham currently returns - gulp - £105 with Sky Bet at combined odds of 4.25/1 for a profit of £85 after deduction of stake. You never know.
I hope to see you next time, no doubt with even more AI slop.
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