Saturday 24 February 2024 - Wikipedia Saves The Day

Welcome to I, Punter, in which the author muses on life (time permitting!) and recommends a weekly bet.

Photo by Oberon Copeland @veryinformed.com

Last Thursday I took my nonagenarian (Google it) mother to do her shopping in Bulwell, which according to Wikipedia is a market town in Nottingham. Like many towns, Bulwell these days is a shadow of its former self thanks to internet shopping and two big supermarkets that have effectively killed off local trade, including most of the market. It is a reminder that nothing is forever, as the people who settled Bulwell in 800 AD would attest to if they could see it now. Ironically they would think it was amazing. Where was I? Oh yes, I was taking my nonagenarian (Google it) mother to do her shopping and on the drive to Tesco (I am aware I am part of the problem) my car stereo, if that’s what it is still called, started streaming the podcast I had been listening to earlier on my phone. It was The Rest Is Football, with Gary Lineker, and almost instantly the 1986 FIFA World Cup Golden Boot dropped the F-bomb which sent my mother into near anaphylactic shock. She was flabbergasted that people could use that sort of language on the radio now, and him of all people especially. I tried to explain it wasn’t the radio, I really did, but sometimes you have to pick your battles.

My mid-season break obviously worked the oracle as I came back with a winning double that returned a profit of almost £60 for those brave enough to follow it with Forest and Hearts both winning 2-0. This week I am hoping to follow it up with a double that is so obvious I actually run the risk of looking like a charlatan.

The first leg of this weekend’s recommended win double is Manchester United (8/15), who welcome Fulham to Old Trafford on Saturday at three pm. United are on a run of four Premier League wins having seen off Wolves, West Ham, Aston Villa and Luton Town. If that was a mini-league with Fulham included, the Cottagers would sit second from bottom which does not bode well for their chances. Home win.

Later on Saturday at eight pm Arsenal (4/11) welcome Newcastle United to the Emirates Stadium. Arsenal are currently on a run of five wins (Crystal Palace, Nottingham Forest, Liverpool, West Ham and Burnley) scoring twenty-one goals in the process and conceding two. Newcastle’s form is patchy in comparison; the only fly in the ointment is arguably not the Toon but how the Gunners come out of their Champions League match on Wednesday night. Home win.

My “hypothetical” £20 win double on United and Arsenal currently returns £41.82 with Sky Bet at combined odds of 1.09/1 for a profit of £21.82 after deduction of stake. We’re buying money, people!

I hope to see you next time.

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Saturday 13 September 2025 - Off The Wall

At times this week, it has felt like I’ve been carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. In desperation, I reached out on my socials for a bit of love and the late American singer, songwriter and dancer Michael Jackson got in touch. He suggested that I should straighten up my act and boogie down. I was in Tesco the next time things began to get on top of me, halfway through the weekly shop, but people just thought I was mental when I pushed my trolley to one side and started doing the Moonwalk down the biscuit aisle. With advice like that, no wonder they called him Wacko Jacko. It makes me wonder what other crazy stuff he got up to. Before I turn to matters of financial speculation, for this week’s AI slop I asked ChatGPT to give the moonwalking man a Notts County shirt and it found an unintentionally funny way of doing this, presumably for reasons of copyright. In addition to being "The Oldest (professional) Team" in the world, last Saturday’...

Saturday 20 September 2025 - More AI Slop

As part of the day job, I had to scan a photo that included Nottingham Castle into ChatGPT. Don't ask. If you are familiar with Nottingham Castle, you will agree it looks nothing like a castle. It's almost a case for Trading Standards. There was a proper castle on the site, with turrets and everything, but this was razed to the ground in 1651. The current building is a Stuart Restoration-era ducal mansion which has been disappointing visitors to the city since 1679. However, ChatGPT knows what a castle looks like, and, without prompting, did this to the photo. Amusing as this was, I just wanted the original photo, so I asked ChatGPT not to alter it in any way. I asked ChatGPT why it was doing this. "I am genuinely mortified," was the touching response. You know the world is screwed when you want to put your arm around an AI and tell it everything's going to be okay. *** On Tuesday, an e-mail informed me that a work colleague had died....

Saturday 27 September 2025 - Tomorrow's World

In last week's blog I made two mistakes. The first was saying that the Barnsley game kicked off at 3 pm. The second was thinking that Barnsley would actually win the Barnsley game. The Tykes’ trip to Blackpool was a lunchtime kick off and, unaware of this, I checked Sky Bet at 3.15 pm to see how they were winning by, only to discover my betting fate had already been sealed. The game was effectively a repeat of the West Brom dabacle from the weekend before, with Barnsley monopolising the game to no avail and Blackpool sneaking a goal late on. My other selection Gillingham won like the good team they are. It’s early days. The last two losing weekends could just be down to variance, but going forward it may pay to avoid betting on top versus bottom clashes where the bottom side is playing at home. Terrible teams seldom become great teams over the course of a season, but they do get better at defending and are more likely to park the bus in the hope of ...

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